Hercules in New York (1970) Review

           Hercules in New York (1970) is the film debut for Arnold Schwarzenegger (credited as Arnold Strong in this movie) back when his English was a lot shittier. Essentially, Arnold plays the title role of Hercules here. The story revolves around Hercules being bored as hell in his hometown in Greece, so without Zeus' permission, he somehow travels by plane and boat to New York. In New York, he befriends a couple of people and goes on a few fun adventures.
           This is definitely the type of movie that would easily be made fun of by the show "Mystery Science Theater 3000". If you don't know, "Mystery Science Theater 3000" is a show where a human and two robots make fun of really shitty movies. So what I'm implying here is that "Hercules in New York" was poorly made. The acting is weak sauce, the music is basically a bunch of cheesy piccolo playing, scenes are poorly constructed and don't feel like they flow together very well, certain plot inconsistencies, and there are a couple of character interactions that don't feel resolved at all. Plus, to make matters worse than they are, there was a scene where Arnold is fighting a loose bear and it was so poorly lit that I couldn't see shit.
           If you enjoy Arnold Schwarzenegger as much as I do, you may have fun with this one. Despite his horrible English here, he has a lot of irresistible charm. Not only does he get to show off his abs a lot, he gets to say a few fun cheesy lines with amusing delivery. My favorite scene in this movie was when he was walking around with his female friend and he stumbles upon a poster of a movie or a play that's related to Hercules and he says, "That is not Hercules. He doesn't even look like me. What is the name of the imitator? Who gave him permission to pretend to be Hercules?" Hahahaha. There are a few moments like that which may potentially make the movie so bad it's good for some people.
           Overall, to its credit, while watching "Hercules in New York", I never came across a point where I felt I was torturing myself due to how bad it is. So if you're in the mood to watch a movie when you're bored, you could do much worse. You might even have a few laughs with this one at a party or something. Just don't expect much of anything that's actually good here. Hahaha.
           I give "Hercules in New York" directed by Arthur Allan Seidelman a 4 out of 10.